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How can family members and caregivers support the dying according to the Tibetan Book of the Dead?
When someone’s final journey nears, a calm, compassionate presence becomes the greatest gift. According to the Tibetan Book of the Dead, family and caregivers can weave a soft landing for the dying by creating an atmosphere that mirrors the Bardo Thodol’s vision of clear light and awareness.
Keep the space serene. Flickering candles, gentle incense, or a small altar with fresh flowers can ground anxious minds. Soft chanting of the “Om Mani Padme Hum” or the Vajrasattva mantra—at a whisper, almost like a lullaby—helps the dying recognize the luminous nature of their own mind.
Speak in calm, reassuring tones. Remind the person that every sensation, thought or emotion is like a cloud passing through the vast sky of awareness. Rather than clinging to fear or pain, encourage them to welcome what arises without judgment. It’s a bit like the mindfulness apps everyone’s talking about these days—only it’s lived in the soul’s final frontier.
Hold a hand, offer a gentle massage of the temples or feet, and stay present. Modern hospice care echoes this ancient wisdom: simple human touch carries more reassurance than any high-tech gadget. In the same spirit, family members can read passages from the text, softly guiding the dying to recognize familiar buddha-lights or benevolent deities appearing in the bardo states.
If the person has a spiritual friend or teacher, inviting them to recite prayers or lead specific rituals can anchor the dying in a lineage of compassion. Encourage letting go of regrets and self-blame as easily as one might release a balloon into the sky. These final moments aren’t about holding on, but about embracing transformation—like witnessing the sunrise after a long night.
In our era, where conversations around psychedelic-assisted therapy for end-of-life anxiety are gaining traction, the Tibetan Book of the Dead stands out as a time-tested roadmap. Family members acting as gentle guides, combined with rituals that honor both impermanence and the light within, offer the dying a tender bridge into whatever comes next.