About Getting Back Home
From the perspective of the Tibetan Book of the Dead, the most fundamental support offered to a dying person is the creation of a calm, undisturbed environment that steadies the mind. Family members and caregivers are encouraged to keep the space quiet and orderly, to restrain overt displays of grief or clinging, and to surround the person with symbols of their spiritual life, such as images of enlightened beings or their teacher. This atmosphere is not merely for comfort; it is meant to help the mind loosen its grip on fear, anger, and attachment so that it can face the transition with clarity. Expressions of love, forgiveness, and permission to let go are especially emphasized, as they help the dying person release concern for those left behind and settle into a more peaceful inner state.
Alongside this outer environment, there is an inner orientation that relatives and caregivers are asked to gently support. They can offer quiet reminders to let go of possessions and resentments, to recall virtuous deeds and spiritual teachings, and to rest in trust and openness rather than fear. If the dying person has a specific practice—such as devotion to a teacher, recitation of mantras, or meditation on the nature of mind—those nearby can softly encourage a return to that familiar path. The aim is to direct attention toward awareness itself, to help the person recognize that whatever visions or experiences arise are expressions of mind and need not be grasped at or feared.
A distinctive feature of this tradition is the use of spoken guidance at and after the moment of death. Passages from the Tibetan Book of the Dead are read aloud, ideally by someone who understands their meaning, to point out the clear light of death, to describe the peaceful and wrathful appearances that may follow, and to instruct the consciousness in how to respond. This reading is not confined to the final breaths; it is often continued for a period corresponding to the intermediate state, with the intention of guiding the deceased through changing inner landscapes and, if liberation is not realized, toward a more fortunate rebirth. Recitation of prayers and mantras, including well-known formulas of compassion, is also regarded as a powerful support.
Care for the physical body is treated as an extension of care for the departing consciousness. Those present are advised not to pull at or disturb the body at the time of death, and to avoid unnecessary movement for some time after breathing has ceased, so that the transition can unfold without disruption. Touch, if needed, is directed to be gentle and mindful, with particular respect for the head as a significant point of departure. This restraint is less about ritual formality than about honoring the subtle process by which consciousness disengages from its former support.
Finally, the text places considerable emphasis on the generation and dedication of merit on behalf of the deceased. Family members and caregivers are encouraged to engage in virtuous actions—prayers, offerings, acts of generosity, sponsorship of rituals—and to dedicate any goodness arising from these to the welfare of the one who has died. Inviting qualified spiritual practitioners to perform ceremonies, recite mantras, or undertake specialized practices of consciousness transference is also recommended where possible. Through these means, the living participate actively in the journey of the dead, not by holding them back, but by surrounding their passage with clarity, compassion, and supportive conditions.